| i never thought it'd be that way |
[01 Aug 2004|01:52am] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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the beautiful mistake |
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this is my old journal.
my new one is - phantasmromance.
i would waste my time giving you the link..
but i just don't think you're special enough..
why don't i just delete this, you ask?
some things are just impossible to let go
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[11 Jun 2004|04:33pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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full collapse |
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i'm falling down
i'm falling down
and you're not there
to break my fall
i shut my eyes
when you're around
i hold my breath
to kill the sound
i'm falling down
i'm falling down
and you're not here
to catch my fall..
hmm.. i love thursday
i hate this
it's so far but nothing can change to make this right
when you live in a nightmare it's written all over your face
that's how it was on the first day
when we saw paris in flames
rain rain down, i think its gonna rain rain down
i wake up every morning
from the same dream
but you cant change the letters
when the ink dries
i woke up on the sidewalk
and everything jut changed
now the lights are blinking
but i can't see anything
i am no killer, but i still hide my face
everythings falling apart
everythings falling apart
everythings falling apart
THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.. they're all the same
paper scraps, we all look the same
we all look the same, i am no killer
i think my 2 week absence will just make things worse
hhmm.. but i can't stay here any longer
businessmen hang themselves
discard this message, discard this message
because its gonna rain, its gonna rain
and..it..never..ends..
in this house of cards
we're all holding hearts and spades
lead with your eyes and you give it away
when the people you love get lost in the shuffle
when you leave, you leave nothing but broken hearts
let it go and then you fold
..driving in your car miss the stop sign fall in love
just to get knocked out, summer's edge and drown me
betting on our own lives making up for all time we lost
?????????????
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| you always amazed me but that's the past |
[10 Jun 2004|11:14pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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underoath |
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today was an alright day. went back to fayetteville.. my sister bought a car. my mom made me go to bath and body works with her. hmm. yeah so i'm out of gas. i got to see emily and ashley, finallyyy :) ashley's babysitting for a week dog is freaking huge. that thing is a little smaller than a cow, seriously it's so big. and it snapped at my hand, i was afraid i was going to lose it.. hmmmmmm. well, finland tomorrow. early flight saturday. i've got some good things on my plate, still some bad. oh well, i'll keep waiting.
a movie that plays in my mind
remembring you helps me survive
every day a re-run of the next
i promised to stay by your side
that all would change i can't complain
another victim of the game
maybe love will find us again
for there is always tomorrow
sincerely till the end close my eyes
just for tonight the sun still sleeps
and when she wakes you'll be a memory
forgive me Jesus this time i cry
i rip my heart out to give to you
alone it never did me any good
hold me close, wash my mind
destroy the me that lives inside
sorry. i'm a little obsessed with underoath at the moment..
it's taken me awhile to get to like them, but well
now i really really really do.. times five thousand million
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| of all the shooting stars i knew i never fell for anyone but you |
[09 Jun 2004|06:02pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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music |
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ozma slash new amsterdams |
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didn't i do a good job of pretending?
baby, you're saying that the victim doesn't want it to end
good, i get to dress up and play the asassin again
it's my favorite, it's got personality
hhmmm.. this song makes me really happy slash really sad. i suppose you can feel both emotions at the same time because i sure can. yeah i'm glad its so long, it should be longer though..
and driving home from your house at night i blink and make a hard right
the tape you gave me flies across the dash and slaps me in the face
today was a pretty good day, i spent it all in fayetteville with mallory. i really really HATE shorts, but i found a pair that look alright... annd.. some other stuff. hhmm yes so as of now i'm waiting around for someone to talk to and something to do. maybe i'll go paint robot #2 or give kyle his cds back. noo... finland friday, i'm excited
oh, mallory - my flight is at 7:20AM before i forget to mention it
it's all said and done
it keeps me at ease
sings us both to sleep
we don't have to say goodbye
goodbye.. goodbye
all said and done.. goodbye
p.s: Emily is missing...!
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| fountain style |
[08 Jun 2004|06:44pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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elliott smith |
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ELLIOTT SMITH
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| ooohhh bbbbboooyyyyy.... |
[07 Jun 2004|10:47pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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music |
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embraced - cease to dream |
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I could listen to Embraced all day.. i really really could. i like the intro, so what if theres no words. eh.. i would like to take this oppourtunity to thank kyle for opening my eyes to such great bands as this one. so thank yoouuu..
so i'm a little bored and a little hyper.. i took this quiz i saw on jeff's livejournal. didnt really feel like taking the what kindof kiss, what kindof lover ones. soo yeah. well besides i've already taken the kiss one before. the pictures freak me out.. hmmm. that's funeral for a friend. ah hah...
Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured soul...you're just like me...
What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
...what can i say???
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| but you, you know, you were my favorite |
[07 Jun 2004|06:54pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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music |
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elliot smith/ cOHEEEEED |
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WHOA, scad just called me.. yeah my dream college. the lady said i needed to go ahead and finish my application because i'm qualified for a scholarship from my ACT scores. she said, and i quote "we need to go ahead and get you accepted so you can receive this scholarship." AHH.. what the heck?! I never actually thought i would get into this school. i'm very excited about this..hmhmmmmm. savannah georgia here i come. 975 miles away from bentonville arkansas i go.. hell yes.
but.. anyways.. i actually did stuff today. first of all my mom was pissed that i hadn't gotten a job yet. so she basically forced me to go up to sonic. i got an application and my sister knows the manager, he owes her a favor or something. so he said to come up there around 1:30 tomorrow and talk to him. i kindof hope i dont get hired, because working at sonic would suck. i'm not really into fast food. not even concessions. but oh well..
thennn over to NWACC.. my mom didnt want me to take all ''froo froo'' classes at high school, so shes making me take a concurrent class over there. i didnt want to take anything serious so i'm taking introduction to drawing, i kindof really suck at drawing.. so i need to learn how to draw i think it will benefit me greatly in the future. hhmm yeah. then i finally got to go to hobby lobby and buy my canvases and new colors. i painted myself a robot. i think it looks neat. hes hanging up on my wall
i want.. wendys.. or mcdonalds. something unhealthy and greasy. now
farewell livejournal whores
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| honest, lets make, this night last forever |
[05 Jun 2004|04:16pm] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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music |
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blink one eighty two |
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i've decided to start a hobby. hobbies are good. i'm not quite sure which hobby i've decided to pursue yet, but i will pursue one. once my mom gets home. i'm going to make her take me to hobby lobby..yess, that will do. i mean, where else would you start a hobby.. no place other than hobby lobby. for shizzle. then i'm going to go rent a movie. a movie that i want to watch, and i'll watch the whole thing though by myself. yep. just waiting for my mom to get home. then i can stop drinking mountain dew after mountain dew.. and stop watching road rules. i hate this road rules. donnel is stupid and so is abram, and that mary beth girl is way too fake. she seems nice, but i dont think she is nice so that bothers me.
i would like to go bungee jumping.. or sky diving right now. yess that would be tons of fun. either that or go karting.. or well, body surfing. i like to body surf. my uncle taught me how a couple summers ago and its more fun than boogie boarding. the only bad thing is.. well your face hits the sand sometimes, you get undertowed sometimes and your bathing suit comes off sometimes. oh and you get stung by jelly fish sometimes. but ahh.. only two weeks and i'll get to. as many times as i want. then i can lay out all day and get sunburnt and i wont have to listen to people ask me if i went tanning. i dont understand why they have tanning bed places at the beach. why would you want to stay inside and get tan? makes no sense to me.. possibly its for the people that live there during winter. eerrrkk.. i hated going there during thanksgiving. there werent groups of people crossing the street coming from the beach, nobody was at the putt putt course and there were no lines outside of dairy queen. you want something depressing just go there during the winter. sheesh.
i have to be satisfied with myself before being satisfied with somebody else. thats just more important, isnt it. i need to be happy by myself before being happy with someone else. that's just the way it goes, that's how life is. you've got to stop and think about these things sometimes.
my hair is so incredibly soft right now, ah wow.. it smells like summer..mmmmmm the smell of shampoo always reminds me of summer. is that weird? i think so.. well no not really. maybe its from all of those times you couldnt wait to get the chlorine smell out of your hair then kept smelling it once it smelled like apples. apples. whoa, apple shampooo.. whoa i have to listen to it
i never wanted to hold you back
i just wanted to hold on
but my chance is gone
i know, just where, i stand
a boy, trapped in the body of a man and..
i'll take what you're willing to give
and i'll teach myself to live
with a walk-on part of a background shot
from a movie I'm not in
she's so important, and i'm so retarted
and now i realize.. i should've kissed you in LA
but i drove home all alone as if i had a choice anyway
wait, where are you coming from?
what are you running from? is it so hard to see
and if you're feeling scared, remember the time we shared
you know it meant everything, you know that i meant everything to me
you know that i meant everything to me
i think i'll buy canvases and paint them. i'll paint robots. robot vampires.. anndd... yes!! brilliant!! SPRAYPAINT!!!! ahh ideas, they just keep rushing into my brain, i have to act on this
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| completely misread i'm better off dead |
[04 Jun 2004|12:16am] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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NEW FOUND GLORY..slash last days of april |
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what i'd give to be the one
to have my name linger on your tongue
warm-hearted you became so numb
i'm not on your tongue
ah, today was quite pleasant. i went to sleep around 11:30 last night then woke up at 1:30.. ah hah, i didn't know i was that tired. but yeah, kindof odd. now i'm wired. i had a dream i was swimming in a really.. really deep pool, it was just a big circle and i tried to swim to the bottom but it just kept going. other people were there but i couldn't see their faces..
today i sat around and did nothing until like 5ish when i decided to take a shower. then at 7ish me and emily went to sonic for a cherry limeade. we got 5 extra cherries, haha. we decided to follow that trail over by that gazebo.. yet it sortof disappears. so we walked on the streets and ended up on central down by the mexican church. we didn't really feel like walking back so we were going to go to kori's house to ask him for a ride, but before we got there caleb happened to drive by and give us a ride, haha. it was quite an adventure. funn.. THENNN we decided to go to ashleys to steal the green machine, sadly it wasn't in the yard like it usually is. ahh well. back to my house, then to daniels for pizza, that was fun..
we have a date to play cards tomorrow, don't you guys forget about it!!
siigghhh i pulled out my shorts today, i think i've lost weight in the past couple months because the ones that didn't used to button.. button. but they're still tight and.. short. i dont like shorts, no i dont think i'm going to wear any this summer. if only the world wasnt on its way to ending and it wasn't so hot..ugghh
anyways, i'm out
I LOVE SUMMERRRRRRrRRrrrrrr....
you can't let go of something you never had
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